Do you have a clear understanding of your relationship values? Do you truly know what your must have’s are opposed to your nice to have’s? Do you have relationship boundaries that are clearly defined and understood by yourself and your partner? Have you got relationship goals and are they aligned to your goals for your relationship?
These are four very important questions and if you can categorically answer yes to all of them then I am picking that you will already have your perfect relationship. If on the other hand you are willing to be truthful with yourself and can admit to yourself that you are a bit stumped as to the answer to all of them or maybe just some of them, then do read on and we will teach you a very simple technique that will give you that much needed clarity.
To start with we will have to uncover exactly what are the things that you value in your ideal love relationship. Sit down with a piece of paper or journal in a quiet spot where you wouldn’t be distracted and think about this question “In the context of relationships what is important to you?” your unconscious mind will be more than happy to flow this information to you… things like, passion, truthfulness, companionship, loyalty, alignment, fun, laughter, etc etc etc.
As they come to you write them down, you may run out after 12 or 15 initially. When you do just ask yourself again “what else is important to me in the context of my perfect relationship?” you will find more things will now come to mind. As you run out again then for a third time ask yourself “and what else is important to me in the context of my perfect relationship?” It is not uncommon for some of your most important values to come out last, purely because they are so natural for you and such a no brainer that you expect them to be there that you perhaps don’t think of them consciously at all.
Now that you have your list you need to hierarchy them, so give them a value from one to however many that you have on your list, with number one being your highest priority value. If you find this challenging to decide between any two or maybe three values as to the next most important then just imagine you could only have one out of them, then which of these values would it be? You’ll certainly know which one you can’t do without.
It is the only the top eight that we want to focus on for this next process, these are the ones that really have the most power for you. It is the fulfillment on these values that drives you actions in the context of relationships.
Now we want to find out are these top eight values towards or away from motivated, what I mean by this is, are you moving towards what you want or away from or avoiding what you don’t want. Take each one in turn and think about the motivation behind the value, it is this motivation that determines your focus and ultimately your results.
To give you a clearer idea of what I mean, let’s say one of your values was togetherness and when you imagine how important togetherness is to you, you picture laughing and sharing a special time with your perfect partner and you’re describing it as how much you love sharing your growth and experiences with the one you love. This would be very much a towards motivated value.
What if on the other hand you were to realise that when you think about togetherness and how it is important to you, you may see yourself starting another year alone on New Year’s Eve and your describing it as well of course togetherness is important because no one wants to be alone for the rest of their life. This would be a heavily away from motivated value.
So now go through all eight values giving them an intuitive percentage score of towards and away from. We all like to think we are very positive people and you are but in the process you have to be very honest, if you think you’re a hundred percent toward motivated on all your values, then rest assured you would already have your ideal relationship.
This simple easy exercise is the best way to get real clarity on the driving force behind your relationship results, if you are unconsciously focused on what you don’t want then that is what you are going to draw to yourself and ultimately manifest into your reality. Energy flows to wherever our focus goes, So the moral is always align your focus to what it is that you truly want.